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“And we’ll have midget jousting, midget bowling, midget wrestling, a midget bar with tiny stools, and I definitely want a midget shot out of a cannon.”

“So, we are talking about a two day midget carnival”

“Exactly! I plan on keeping it quiet, only inviting roughly 50 people. I figure we’ll need about 24 midgets, and some Shetland ponies (the ponies are for the jousting of course).”

“That’s almost a midget for every two attendees.”

“It will be carefully orchestrated. The midget bowling is where the big numbers come in. Two lanes, ten midget ‘pins’, two midget ‘bowling balls’ (they are duct taped so they can’t move and pushed down the hill into the ‘pins’), and two midget referees. The rest of the time we won’t need as many midgets; however, they will be busy serving drinks, giving blow jobs (standing up of course), and any other tasks I see fit to bestow upon them.”

“Are you making fun of me?”

“What in god’s name are you talking about? I’m planning my midget carnival. Haven’t you been listening?”

“You are making fun of my height, and it's not funny.”

“Dude, you’re like five foot even, that is a good foot and a half taller than any midget that will be working my carnival. If this is your pathetic excuse to squeeze a weekend’s pay out of me, you are talking to the wrong Midget Carnival Planner.”