AcmeShorts

AcmeShorts.com had had a bad day. He was sitting there at Rudy’s, eating a hot dog and drinking some whiskey.

“Goddammit,” AcmeShorts mumbled, rubbing it’s eyes. “Goddammit.”

Sitting next to AcmeShorts was VIAGRA-NOW.com, one of AcmeShort’s few friends. VIAGRA was drinking White Russians. He called the barmaid over. “Take a look at this,” VIAGRA said, whipping out his erect cock.

“Put that thing away before you hurt someone,” the barmaid said, walking off.

“Oh, I would,” VIAGRA called after her, “but I CAN’T.”

AcmeShorts had his head in his hands. “Twelve hours I was down today.”

“Aw, don’t worry. It doesn’t matter,” VIAGRA told him.

“It matters to me,” AcmeShorts said.

They had a few more drinks.

Later that night, into the bar walked SororityLinks.com, who was some sort of legitimate sorority community web site. God, AcmeShorts wanted to bang the shit out of her. Oh fuck that would be good. She walked up to the bar and stood next to Acme, waiting to order a drink.

“Go ahead - sweet talk her”, VIAGRA whispered to Acme.

AcmeShorts nodded. He leaned over. “Uh, excuse me. I’d like to cum in your ear. Then I want to make some snide comments while giving you anal. Also, I just pooped in my pants. Poopy poopy doopy.”

AcmeShorts was a BAD sweet talker.

SororityLinks picked up Acme’s drink, threw it in his face, and walked off.

VIAGRA called after her. “Hey, come back. I’ve got CHEAP VIAGRA! Really cheap!”

But it didn’t matter. She was out the door. It was another lonely night.
Date Written: May 1, 2004
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 4.1111
Comments:
05/6/2004 Benny Maniacs (4): My God.
05/6/2004 TheBuyer: o dear
05/6/2004 qualcomm (4): i'll give this a backhanded 4 stars.
05/6/2004 Mr. Pony (4): Not sure about all the trappings, but that pickup line...
05/6/2004 John Slocum (4): Nice to know acmeshorts.com is concerned when it goes down. A very entertaining read, but a tad sloppy.
05/6/2004 Jon Matza (5): At least they have each other.
05/6/2004 Not Lisa (4): Is a four star when you laugh out loud, or is that considered a five star?
05/6/2004 anonymous: Five?
05/6/2004 Not Lisa: Okay, I owe you a star.
05/6/2004 anonymous: Duly noted!
05/6/2004 Mafia Mike (4): SororityLinks.com isn't a real site... I feel cheated
05/6/2004 Mr. Pony: There may be no site there, but the name seems to be owned by internetentertainmentnetwork.com--Which seems to have the best corporate home page ever.
05/6/2004 Mr. Pony: Holy crap, was that Mafia Mike?
05/6/2004 TheBuyer (4): I saw suicidegirls.com leaving with annacam.com that same night. Hot.
05/6/2004 Phony Millions (4): A wonder no one thought of this before.