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Jimmy quickly unzipped his pants and settled into his blue leather recliner. The foot rest shot out with a flip of a lever, and he was in position. Grabbing hold of his erect man rod, his preparations were complete. The “X-Play” Season Pass on his TiVo kicked in and automatically tuned to TechTV.

“…ladies and gentleman, Adam Sessler and Morgan Webb!”

Morgan Webb. There she was. His videogame goddess. Oh how her talent and beauty had blossomed since her days on “The Screen Savers”. Now she was a host of her very own show. A show about video games no less.

Jimmy fervently stroked the veiny pole betwixt his legs knowing full well the sight of Webb’s heaving bosom would soon be replaced by a boring review of “Deus Ex: Invisible War”.

But it was too late. The review had already begun, and for all his efforts, Jimmy sported a mere semi. Adam Sessler’s hideous maw had foiled his masturbatory fantasy. The sight of the socially-challenged spiky-haired host standing next to his flaxen-haired modern-day geek Aphrodite simply proved too distracting to properly climax.

Chaffed and downtrodden, Jimmy returned to his regular masturbation routine: Playing “Dead or Alive: XTreme Beach Volleyball” with one hand.