AcmeShorts

"I been framed! I been framed!"

God, not this again. This same homeless routine? It wasn't even funny anymore. The homeless guy with the empty picture frame around his neck. Trying to get my hard-earned money.

"Frame this!"

So I smashed my nearly empty bottle of Lone Star™ beer on his head. Yeah, I know it's New York City and not New Orleans; so what am I doing with an open container? And better yet, what am I doing spending $5.00 on a beer that's treated in New York as an import beer, even though it's basically watered-down piss as far as people in Texas are concerned?

The people surrounding me, some of whom were actually acquaintances and friends, kind of started laughing. I think one guy started puking, though from what I wasn't sure. Was it the fact that he had just consumed too many Jaegermeisters™? Or rather that the now-twitching mass of homelessness before us touched a nerve?

I don't have the answer to everything. I just knew it was pretty damn cold outside, so I shoved my hands back into the warm pockets of my fashionable cardigan sweater.

Does anyone know how to get to Turtle Bay? I think it's in the 50's, on the east side. God, there were some hot chicks there last time.