Farnsworth took advantage of the lull in the dinner party conversation to steer the discourse toward his favorite topic: Anal Hygiene. "Swinburne", he bellowed, "Swinburne, if some rake approached you in the street, and smeared shit on your forearm, or in your hair, what would you do? I dare say you would avail yourself of the nearest douche and have a proper shower. Am I wrong? You wouldn't simply wad up some toilet paper and wipe the feces from your arm, or out of your hair. And yet, every day, we move our bowels, and from the flesh, membrane and hair which surround our anuses we remove the attendant fecal matter with mere toilet paper. This", concluded Farnsworth with a valedictory air, "is why I shave my asshole."
Date Written: December 9, 2003 Author:Mr. Joshua Average Vote: 4.75
Comments:
12/9/2003anonymous (3):
12/9/2003qualcomm (5): splendid
12/9/2003anonymous (5): This is good. I cannot say any more than this for fear of...
12/10/2003cuntry (4): brilliant use of the word douche
12/10/2003Will Disney: yeah - this is a pretty good one. very traditional too.
12/10/2003Ewan Snow: It is good, but it's sort of funny that Disney admires it for being "traditional." I guess he's right, though...
05/20/2004John Slocum (5): what the Lerpa said
07/23/2004Mr. Pony (5): Indeed.
07/23/2004TheBuyer (5): (no comment)
07/25/2004scoop (5): "and from the flesh, membrane and hair which surround our anuses" - boss line.
10/30/2004The Rid (5): Priceless.
10/30/2004Litcube (5):
01/31/2005Cyrus (5): Swinburne is a righteous name.
01/31/2005The Rid: I love this effing short.
03/4/2008Dylan Danko (5): This get's a 5 for the consistency of the authorial vision.
11/16/2009scoop: Never has an artist who has been so obsessed with his own ass hole remained so grounded.