AcmeShorts

Listen up, bitches: this muthafukkas hunnry. I’mma get me some SOUPS. Ain’t talkin bout no muthafukkin consommAY muthafukka, feel me? This nigga gonna have hissel some muthafukkin mineSTRONEY, muthafukka, stick to my muthafukkin reeb. I gots t’have it, G: my potato, my navy bean, my tomato, my onion and my muthafukkin macaronis. Best not be brinnin me no muthafukkin lukewarm mothafukkin soups neither muthafukka! Sheee. This negro’s minestrone gotta be steamin hot, nome sane? Don’t be brinnin me no cup, muthafukka, and you best not brinn me no bowl. My Pogresso be comin in a TUREEN, bitches. That some Pottery Barn shit, nigguh. Muthafukka come to my tayboo piping. Whoa they muffuh!! Sprinkoo summa dat shit on there. You think I’m playin muh’fukka? I ain’t playin! Nigguh why you gotta be so innorant?? I’mma go straight upside yo heed you tryta walk away ‘fore you sprinkoo two muthafukkin spoonfoos o’ muthafu’n parmesans on my muthafukkin soups! Was you born yessaday muthafukka? Ain’t no muthafukkin minestroneys without no muthafukkin garnish. Muthafukka you STILL standin they? THE FUCK OUTTA MY FACE NIGGUH!! That’s right run muthafukka! Muthafukka tryna be lookin all on me with them beady muthafukkin eyeboos while I be eatin my muthafukkin soups. I’LL CUT YOU MUTHAFUKKA!