AcmeShorts

Lonnie Isosceles peered into the mirror at the electric wound still suppurating on his forehead.

Inside the wound, on the tiny television, Lonnie Tenterhook, professor of theoretical triangles, was giving lecture at university: “The universe behaves very much like this wooden bowl full of devil’s food batter. There are rich folds of chocolaty goodness, whipped up and up. Black holes behave very much like these peanut butter chips I’m now adding to the batter. The process of folding the chips into the batter is not at all like the Big Bang. Mmmm. My swallowing the batter is not dissimilar to that time when star cluster SC891-7X imploded glarphmmmmrraaaggggghhh!”

Date Written: June 12, 2003
Author: qualcomm
Average Vote: 3.3333
Comments:
06/12/2003 Phony Millions (4): appropriate vernacular for professor of theoretical triangles; idiomatic.
06/12/2003 Ewan Snow (4): stupid, uses well-worn "not unlike" joke, but still funny...
06/17/2003 Benny Maniacs (3): "By far his most stoned work to date!" -Benjamin Maniacs, St. Petersburg Herald
06/17/2003 scoop (3): Maybe somewhere, out there, there's a Professor of Treacly Humor watching Feldspar write this crap.
06/19/2003 qualcomm (5): You'll all be sorry in 3 years. This short was engineered to age well.
07/21/2003 Dylan Danko (3): So, is it like or unlike the Big Bang? 'spar's kidding himself about this one.
05/21/2004 TheBuyer (3): geh
12/1/2004 Ewan Snow: So Lonnie Isosceles is watching Lonnie Tenterhook on a TV inside his electric head wound? Is it a coincidence that Tenterhook is a professor of theoretical triangles and Isosceles' name is Isosceles? What are the chances? I like this short's classic stylings, lack of purpose, etc.
12/1/2004 qualcomm: i think certain persons owe me an apology
12/1/2004 Dick Vomit: qualcomm chugs the D, probably.