AcmeShorts

Unsuspecting swimmers who pass through an invisible swarm of thimble jellyfish larvae often end up with a nasty, itchy, acne-like rash, usually in the most awkward spots where their bathing suits cling to their bodies.

That's what Julie read on Susan's monitor.

"What the hell are you reading about?"

Susan quickly turned around. "Oh, it's you. It's this thing called sea lice. I think I got it." She lowered her voice a bit more, "It's so goddamn annoying. I got all these itchy red bumps down there".

"Ew, you mean crabs?"

"No, sea lice"

"But that's just a nice way of saying crabs, right?"

"No, no it's totally different"

"Oh, okay."

"No really, I don't have crabs"

"Okay cool."

As Julie walked to the copying machine, she promised herself she would never sit down on the office toilets again – no matter how big the doodie.