AcmeShorts

"I have procured a small bird," said Daddy Turlus. He held it aloft. It had a faraway look in its eye. "Can we play with it, Daddy?" "It depends on how you behaved earlier." A strange silence followed. Earlier in the day some bad behavior had taken place. It was clear Daddy was making an indirect reference to the boys' discourteous behavior. That's when Daddy tied the boys to the bed. He took off their pants and put worms and crumbs on their ding-a-lings. It hurt something fierce when the bird pecked at the boys' ding-a-lings. Then Daddy murdered them and their mother and ground up their bones for toothpaste because a bird is all the family a man needs.