AcmeShorts

Japan:2005 If a saw one more shitty egg/cucumber sandwich on anemic bread with the crusts cut off I would have ran naked through a rice paddy and inpregnated the farmer's daughter. I'm serious. Let me tell you exactly when and where the trip became fun for me... The Nagoya Club Hotel spa. When I saw first-hand that I had the biggest penis in a room fulla Japs. It was quite the experience. A bit of modesty on my part, I must admit that Gilberto the Cockquistador is of average size. You know what I mean, not too big, not too small. Juuust right. In other words, Goldilocks would love my cock. Standing in front of the hotel spa's doors, question #1 farted into my mind. "Hmmm...why are there, TWO doors, instead of one? Men's? Womens? Am I at the right spa? Where's the hot tub?" Once inside, I followed the retard-proof instructions on the wall. Strip, Done. Hold 4x4 terry cloth rag in front of exposed manhood, Done. So I walked through the door that was inside the first door. The new room was lined with stools, two large, square, tiled bathtubs sat in the middle. So here was where all the Japanese businessmen hid! As I looked around (by accident, I swear) I caught glimpse of what appeared to be a little light switch with black hair covering the plate. Ok, zoom out, "Aahh! There's a pissed-off Jap on the other end of that micro-cock!" He said something...what the hell it was I have no clue. He spoke like Astro, that dog from the Jetsons. Every other man in that room was frowning just like that guy, and understandably so; they were all the disgruntled owners of the first cocks I have ever seen that failed to portrude past pubic hair. A grin took control of my face...down went the towel that OFFICIALLY hid the biggest dick in the room. I swelled with pride. What a true embassador of the American male I was! To this day when somebody asks me how I liked visiting Japan, I tell them, "Loved it. Had the biggest cock a room fulla Japs had ever seen."