AcmeShorts

Brian locked the door to his office and wandered over to the window; he had to pee very, very badly. He wasn't going to pee out of the window, his office was high above the city on the 21st floor and the windows in tall buildings don't open. He couldn't go to the Men's room because he never got over the habit of dropping his pants all the way to the floor, pulling up his shirt and sticking his tummy into the urinal like a little boy when he peed. He also never got over eating raw pancake mix but he wasn't particularly worried about anyone seeing him eat raw pancake mix, the peeing was different. The peeing could ruin him. Brian shuffled from foot to foot, he squatted and tugged at his groin, he moaned and beat his thigh but nothing would make the pee retreat back to where it came from. The pee was very demanding when it wanted to come out into the world. The pee wanted Brian to pull his pants and underwear all the way down and pull his shirt up and stick his tummy out and pee it out; the pee was not going away. The pee won. His pee always won. Brian looked at the big wet spot on the carpet and wished he could fire the pee, but he knew a very important fact - pee can't be fired.