AcmeShorts

"That's it, nice and slow. Take it all the way deep like that, oh Allah, yes." Jesus, these Iraqi women could give head. Get the hejab off them and there were vacuum cleaners implanted between their puffy Koran-reciting lips. Liberation of the freedom loving Iraqi people, indeed — loving to swallow this guy's free-spurting load, that is. Years ago when the CIA approached me, I thought they had finally caught up with me for those minor snuff films I had been involved with in '86. Well, they knew, but they weren't overly concerned. Why hire a lowest-bid contractor when we can get the real thing from The Man himself, they asked. Who was I to argue? Like Red Adair, the famed firefighter said years ago, "You think a professional is expensive, try hiring an amateur." We shared a laugh, the CIA and I. Next thing I know I'm embedded in some Arab princess' asshole, balls-deep while my tongue explores the virginal flower of some ululating Shiite straddling the other's back. Guess that's one less virging for the martyr's brigade. And the whole thing is being captured on high quality DV. I edit with Final Cut Pro, on a G5, so the quality is what it is, but the turn-around time from casting to finished product is what sells. I take requests from the marketplace, can name my own price. Sowing the seeds of democracy takes time. A long, hard slog Rumsfeld said. You don't know the half of it, brother.