AcmeShorts

As I lay there bleeding, waiting for the ambulance, I went to my happy place. There it was! I'd stopped the burglar before he had time to harm my children. He hadn't stolen anything. In fact, I'd injured him with the fire extinguisher that I keep by the front door. The police would be looking for a white guy with a limp! Much easier to find than a white guy with an perfect gait!

Wait, there was no looking on the bright side of this one. I'd been shot. It fucking sucked.
Date Written: June 17, 2005
Author: Mr. Positive
Average Vote: 2.83333
Comments:
06/22/2005 Will Disney: I can't say the gag paid off for me but the length *cannot* be argued with.
06/22/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs: "an perfect gait"? 'cube, be it you?
06/22/2005 TheBuyer: An imposter.
06/22/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (2.5): In which organ and/or limb(s) was the protagonist shot?
06/22/2005 TheBuyer (3.5): I'm going to my happy place *right now*.
06/22/2005 Litcube (2.5): It's too bad about this guy. How he's shot.
06/22/2005 Litcube: I hope I didn't write this.
06/22/2005 Klause Muppet: this is soooo not litcube.
06/22/2005 Litcube: Why isn't this me?
06/22/2005 Klause Muppet: Well Litcube, you rated this a 2.5. You would never EVER submit anything that you thought was 2.5 material. Duh!
06/22/2005 Klause Muppet: Shall I go on?
06/22/2005 Litcube: Yuh.
06/22/2005 Litcube: Also, can you not say "duh" anymore?
06/22/2005 Jawbreaker: Yeah. Duh! Litcube!
06/22/2005 Mr. Pony: Even if this were Litcube, that "an" reflects an error in judgment.
06/22/2005 anonymous: Perhaps the "an" was an error in judgment, Mr. Pony, but it WAS intentional!
06/22/2005 Mr. Pony: I also do not think this is Litcube!
06/22/2005 The Rid: Maybe the author just wants to go camping with some or all of the Canadians?
06/23/2005 Klause Muppet: We have beautiful camping spots up here in Canada.
06/23/2005 Litcube: Manning Park is especially lovely this time of year. Would you like to go camping Rid?
06/23/2005 Yahzick: I've met all kinds of great people while using the rest-rooms in the Manning Park area. It'd be the perfect place for a bunch of home-grown Canadians to show TheRid how to camp.
06/23/2005 Klause Muppet: I was looking for a relationship in the Manning Park area.
06/24/2005 Mr. Negative: My son wrote a short! The cunt!