AcmeShorts

My feelings were hurt again, and this time it wasn't just the name calling. The tone of voice my interlocutors used was also very hurtful, and the undercurrents of hostility inherent in the statements and phrases they chose further hacked away at my already fragile self-esteem. I pulled down my swim trunks and examined my penis. It appeared extremely small and shrivelled. The girls swim team giggled at my mortification, causing my testicles to retract into my abdomen painfully. Feeling physically and emotionally brutalized, I cringed and tried to sidle away. I was afraid of further ridicule and/or physical abuse. How had matters come to this pass? I'd done everything I could to ingratiate myself with them, yet the harder I tried to befriend them the more they despised me. I felt their rejection at the very core of my being. I was worse than nothing to them; a disgusting bit of dirt. Maybe I hadn't tried hard enough? I smiled nervously at them but my eyes were already tearing up. Three of them advanced on me. My heart began to pound and a tremor of nausea passed through me. They seized the back of my swimming trunks, lifted me up and hung me over the diving board. The material of my swimsuit wedged up between my legs and chafed my anus. What drove them to take away my human dignity in this way? I began to shriek. "Stop snivelling!" shouted Chad, the lifeguard. He jumped down from his chair and pelted me in the face with a water polo ball. My nose began to bleed. My chlorine allergies were acting up, too; I'd forgotten my medicine. Chad got on the board and began bouncing up and down, causing my wedgie to lodge further into my crack. The burning pain in my rectum was terrific. With an Indian war whoop he jumped over me into the pool, punching me in the mouth on the way down. My retainer went flying into the water and slowly sank. If only I knew how to swim! Suddenly the fire alarm began to ring...