Dammit! I spilled bong water all over the floor! Fuck. Dude, what are we gonna do? We have to get this cleaned up before Mom and Dad come home.
Are those tator tots? Score!
Fuck. Dude. Mom and Dad are going to be home any minute and that shit ass bong water is still all over the floor!
Wait, I know. Come here Rosie! Rosie! ROSIEEEEE!!!!
Watch and learn brotha. Now, you hold the bichon like this. Then you firmly but carefully insert the wooden broom handle into its ass just like this. And bam! There's the new mop!
Now, let's take care of this mess, huh?
Date Written: May 25, 2005 Author:Jawbreaker Average Vote: 1.875
Comments:
05/25/2005The Rid (1.5):
05/25/2005The Rid: Although the image of Jawbreaker's dog (not named Rosie) with a broom up her ass is kinda funny.
05/25/2005Jawbreaker: Hey, this isn't very nice!
05/25/2005Jawbreaker (4): But after some serious consideration (picturing my little doggie as a mop) I think it's funny.
05/25/2005Klause Muppet: Bong Water + Tator Tots + Dog Mop doesn't necessarily make a good short. Does it Yoda?
05/25/2005The Rid: Klause, I'd be willing to bet that those ingredients make the short even worse. Hell, bong water alone drops it to a 2.5.
05/25/2005TheBuyer (2): Jawbreaker, I think your blood-sugar may be low, this is trash, good thing it's instant!
05/25/2005Will Disney (2.5):
05/25/2005anonymous: All you have to do to see this is funny is to imagine a very curly haired white bichon at the end of a wooden pole! Come on! That's funny!
05/25/2005The Rid: I think it would have been more plausible if the bichon's name were Olive. You know?
05/25/2005Mr. Pony:
05/25/2005anonymous: Rosie is a VERY plausible name, Rid. Thanks for the picture Pony! The only thing about it is that Rosie doesn't have the fluffy hair. She's all curl.
05/25/2005TheBuyer: Author, a two person dialogue floating in space agitates my piles regardless of how far up an dog ass a stick is shoved, it's not you, it's me, also you mostly.
05/26/2005TheBuyer: Also, my instant short from today sucked too.
05/26/2005John Slocum (1.5): That's funny TheBuyer, this doesn't agitate my piles, but it riles my Klagnuts.
05/26/2005The Rid: Hey, Jawbreaker, how is little Olive anyway?
05/26/2005Jawbreaker: The Olster says "Hello Rid, you mean, mean man. Thanks for scaring me last time I saw you, jerk!" (Olive also has a high pithed voice like myself)
05/26/2005Jawbreaker: *pitched
05/26/2005Dylan Danko: I would like to ban all communication among guests of a personal, non acme related, nature. (See below) You must first seek approval from the Board of Authors.
05/26/2005TheBuyer: I Second, please carry motion to Council for review.
Nice shirt Dylan, you're a true autumn, Brooks Brother much?
05/26/2005anonymous: Fuck you Danko and Buyer. And the dudes you rode in on.
05/26/2005Mr. Pony: Now, now, anon_a. I think Danko has a point. (Not that we hold this particularly disruptive and irritating exchange against you, Jawbreaker. You're okay, kiddo. It's clearly entirely the Rid's fault, and if you would speak to him about it that would be great.)
05/26/2005anonymous: Mr. Pony, I think Jawbreaker is a willing participant in all these shenanigans, no?
05/26/2005Farva: Did someone say shenanigans?
05/26/2005Jawbreaker: Go shove it Anon-b!
05/26/2005Jawbreaker: So personal jabs, like below, are allowed at acme? But silly, curly-haired dogs insulting The Rid are not? I don't get it.
05/26/2005TheBuyer: Everything is permitted (except ',no?').
Check out that macaroni link for a good example of pretty funny "personal" type discourse. Don't forget your audience. Have you hugged your audience yet today? Hmm?
05/26/2005qualcomm: the problem, jb, is that your comment makes one picture you holding up your small dog (with its razor sharp bottom row of teeth on constant display) and saying in a silly voice, "Hello Rid, you mean, mean man. Thanks for scaring me last time I saw you, jerk!"
this had the unpleasant effect of making you come off like one of those psychos from Best in Show. (ps, i'm offering life lessons to one lucky female guest. what do you look like and what are you wearing?)
05/26/2005Jawbreaker: So I just read the macaroni reference. Now is that only funny because all of you guys were involved? I mean, I was involving The Rid so I just don't get it. And at this point I would rather not involve The Rid in anything. We had a falling out today (well like 10 minutes ago). Oh wait, is this not Acme bantar either?
05/26/2005TheBuyer: no no no, what did he do? Maybe click here though.
05/26/2005Jawbreaker: Buyer: I really can post the falling out on the message boards???
05/26/2005qualcomm: (by the way, i think the macaroni feud, and all such non-acme-related items, should be confined to the message board.)
05/26/2005Dylan Danko: The Buyer: I don't understand the autumn color thing. Did you contrive, by some sort of closed circuit trickery, to spy on me in the changing room at Target this evening? Seriously.
05/26/2005TheBuyer: No, I was starting a non-acme tangent. If you could hear my accent, you would think that autumn line was repeatable at parties it's so funny.
06/6/2005The Rid: You know, Jawbreaker, I can actually see you try this.
Nice shirt Dylan, you're a true autumn, Brooks Brother much?
Check out that macaroni link for a good example of pretty funny "personal" type discourse. Don't forget your audience. Have you hugged your audience yet today? Hmm?
this had the unpleasant effect of making you come off like one of those psychos from Best in Show. (ps, i'm offering life lessons to one lucky female guest. what do you look like and what are you wearing?)