It was one of those craps that kind of makes a ring around the bowl. And it was
long. It was like someone put
Dick Spirit’s Dong Longener in his stool.
Anyway, why it was such a healthy crap was confusing. Because Jed had been watching Oprah lately, you know, because she's all spiritual, and there was a health expert on there who talked a lot about human evacuation of the bowels, and he said that healthy poop was solid and curved. It was a myth that a heavy, painful, break apart-as-it-comes-out crap was good. No, that usually meant you had too much fiber or something. You know, back off the Metamucil.
But back to why this crap being so healthy was confusing. Most of the time, Jed just ate Doritos, drank Dr. Brown's and masturbated in front of the TV. There was orange resin all over his johnson. But he was healthy, at least according to his poo. Was it the Oprah? Because Jed felt a kind of lightness in his spirit that he never felt before. Not even while watching that guy who knew what was going on with the dead.
Jed gingerly lifted the shit from the bowl and prepped it for dissection. He was gonna get to the bottom of this.