AcmeShorts

Dylan Danko wasn’t impressed. “I’m not impressed,” he said.
This was his third dinner date with Kate Moss and she was still giving him no clues, no hints, no fucking indication that she gave two shits. “Do you even give two shits?” he asked.
Kate didn’t speak. She never did after a meal.
Unable to control himself, Dylan Danko stood up from the dinner table and pointed to the back door. “I can’t take it any longer! We’re either going into the back alley to fuck like monkeys or this relationship is over!”
Kate tapped the table twice.
Things were looking up!
Date Written: May 3, 2005
Author: Klause Muppet
Average Vote: 3.5
Comments:
05/10/2005 The Rid: Hmm. Not sure.
05/10/2005 Will Disney (3): There isn't much "there" there, but I guess I'm glad to see Danko getting some action.
05/10/2005 Mr. Pony (4): I found myself laughing, and I thought it was because it was about Dylan, but then I replaced Dylan's name with that of an equally unlikely celebrity (no offense, buddy) and it was still pretty funny to this old soldier.
05/10/2005 Turgid: Things must be looking up. It's the third date, right? Why would she keep showing?
05/10/2005 Klause Muppet (4): Simple and funny! Turgid, model's aren't 'real' people. Hope that answers your questions.
05/10/2005 The Rid: I must agree that this short is decent, but it only produced a smirk, not a huge laugh. Although the bit about fucking in the alley is great. Crap. Don't know if this is three or four.
05/10/2005 Turgid: Is this an inside job?
05/10/2005 Klause Muppet: How come I can't betvite this???
05/10/2005 Will Disney: Hmmm, something I did to Acme and/or Betvite last night screwed the pooch. Should be back again for the Short published tomorrow AM.
05/10/2005 Litcube (4): This was pretty funny! I totally got it because Dylan and I go way back, and I can see him in this situation very clearly. Oh, that Dylan! If you knew Dylan Danko like I knew him!
05/10/2005 Jawbreaker (4): I liked this one!
05/10/2005 Turgid (2): If I knew Danko, would this be funnier?
05/10/2005 Klause Muppet: I don't know Danko.
05/10/2005 Litcube: Remember the dude on the table at the Blarney Stone two years ago? 'Member that guy?
05/10/2005 Klause Muppet: Fuck! That was Danko! I had no idea. That guy was awesome. Fucking guy. Oh. Hah Hah. Wow, this shorts fucking wicked-funny now! Hah. Fucking Danko.
05/10/2005 The Rid (4): Well, Turgid bloody well did it. Three stars plus one for a corrective. This is NOT a two-star short. And Turgid, if you wrote this and are trying to coax sympathy star action, shame on you. And congratulations.
05/10/2005 anonymous: Turgid didn't write this and I'm quite upset at his vote.
05/10/2005 Dylan Danko: Litcube, you bring back some sweet memories. All I know is I wasn't the one waving my cock around at the Blarney Stone, was I? If any of you knew me, you would know that I wouldn't look twice at Kate Moss. Skinny cunt that she is. Author, thank you for including me in your short. If the short were better, I'd be flattered.
05/10/2005 Turgid: What's the point of a corrective vote? Water seeks its level, no?
05/10/2005 bowflex:
05/10/2005 Turgid: That pulsating banner is weird.
05/10/2005 TheBuyer: Disney you prostitute, if you needed the money so bad you should have just asked.
05/10/2005 Turgid: That too. This is cheap.
05/10/2005 anonymous: Dylan, you're welcome. I think.
05/10/2005 Turgid: This ad is a harbinger of disappointment. I can't click the link and claim my Bowflex.
05/10/2005 Pushups: Why don't you drop and give me 20?! Because you're too much of a baby -- that's why.
05/10/2005 Dave Heiny: ..and I can't click the "FREE" to claim my man!
05/10/2005 Anal Sex: Say, Dave; are you Partytime?
05/10/2005 A View To A Kill: The first crystal tears
Fall as snowflakes on your body
First time in years
To drench your skin with lover's rosy stain
A chance to find a phoenix for the flame
A chance to die, but can we dance into the fire?
05/10/2005 Anal Sex: Gosh; I never knew that song was so gross.
05/10/2005 TheBuyer: haw haw haw
05/10/2005 The Harbinger of Disappointment: Wooo! I'ma GETCHOO!