The Rid was a ghastly fellow. Cursing this way and that.
The girls sang the songs of Rid, skipping through the playground hand in hand.
The boys gathered in the washroom, sharing smokes and writing Rid lore on the bathroom stall door.
* * *
"Daddy," Billy said, kneeling on the window seat and looking into the night, "will you tell me the story of the Ridder tonight?"
"The one with the lion?"
"No daddy, the one where he leaves his home for adventure!"
* * *
Anton sat beneath the willow tree absently watching the sun set. Leaning his head against the bark, he closed his eyes and started to sing.
Over the hills and between the trees,
I shall venture far.
Across the plains I do dare go,
I shall venture far.
There is no patch of Gods green earth,
That I will not see.
For I am the Ridder, the Ridder, the Ridder.
You shall fear me!
Excerpts from Graylick Revisited, Graylick Dramblegumper
Date Written: April 22, 2005 Author:Klause Muppet Average Vote: 2.25
Comments:
05/2/2005The Rid: That's Riddler. Assbag!
05/2/2005Jawbreaker: The riddler is SO much better!
05/2/2005Jawbreaker: Fuck, I don't know what I did there! Ah! My comment was:
The Riddler sounds SO much better.
05/2/2005Will Disney: Okay, guys, you are on the front page now! Let's get with the program content-wise!
05/2/2005The Rid: Disney, I was merely correcting our lovely author. It's not Ridder, dude. If you're gonna make fun, at least get your facts straight. Yeah! That being said, I don't really think this short is good or bad. It just is. Or something.
05/2/2005Klause Muppet (3): Yeah Guest Month!
05/2/2005anonymous: The Rid, I assure you this was not meant to "make fun".
05/2/2005Streifenbeuteldachs: Urge to two-star...rising...
05/2/2005Litcube (2):
05/2/2005Turgid: Let's pull it together, people.
05/2/2005anonymous: The Rid's persona is like Freddy Krueger cool. Little boys want to be him and girls are scared of him.
05/2/2005Turgid (3): Somewhat ambitious.
05/2/2005The Rid: Making fun or no, I'm not sure it's very good. You know?
05/2/2005Klause Muppet: I liked your previous comment, Rid, I certainly think it's "something". It's not really funny, but I'm not sure if it's suppose to be. More of a look into the lives of people that have been affected by you. Or perhaps these are exerts from Graylick Dramblegumper's novel.
05/2/2005Mr. Pony: Folks, producing winning content is just half the Acme battle. The remaining third is thoughtful criticism. Let's ask ourselves some questions beyond "Is this good?" For example, what do you think the author was trying to accomplish with this work? How successful was the author in getting his ideas across? How does the author's intention jibe with the words "on" the "page"? If it's funny, why is it funny? Which Kids in the Hall sketch does this work remind you of, and why? These are the seeds of good discussion and lively debate! You're all too smart to engage in simple lazy voting (I'm looking in your direction, Litcube!) Next time, let's hear you all articulate what you have to say (great start, Klause!). The first person to say "This is just bad" gets a demerit.
05/2/2005Dave Heiny (3): This is just good.
05/2/2005Mr. Pony: Oh, Dave.
05/2/2005Templeton Dink: This short touches on how harmful The Rid can be to the minds of children but doesn't even mention why. Is the author suggesting he's a myth or a monster? I'm distressed that anyone should think that I wrote this.
05/2/2005The Rid: Well, thanks Pony. I appreciate you taking the time to help the guests out. There is an inherent problem with this short, though: It's not interesting enough to debate, and for that matter, no one has put forth any argument which is debatable. This short simply takes up virtual space. Now, with that said, I think the author is trying to have a little fun with his fellow guest and is trying not to be too mean-spirited. In fact, I'd guess s/he finds me innocuous. So why bother? Of course, I don't really want anyone to come out and call me a cunt, either. So I guess if anyone's gonna write anything, this is choice. But what do I know? Oh, and this reminds a me a little bit of McCulloch's "These Are the Daves I Know."
05/2/2005Klause Muppet: I'm gathering that "Guest Month" means that only Guests participate and Authors don't vote, etc??? I feel so much pressure to pull up my pants, roll up my sleeves, and get serious.
If only I could think of something to say... Litcube?
05/2/2005Litcube: Hi, Klause. Hi, Pony. The wind's knocked out of me as of late, so I've been pretty quiet. As for the short, I found it lacked direction. One could say that it wasn't all that funny either, but I suppose if I twisted my nose a little and imagined that this short had a point to make... Just maybe. Anyway, hello fellow guests!
05/2/2005Mr. Pony: Everyone needs some space to make potentialities actual. I am letting you know that you have it!
05/2/2005Klause Muppet: Hi Litcube! Perhaps Dink is right, the Rid is a myth. And people have assumptions on who this Rid is: Dink dislikes him and Jawbreaker thinks he's great! Yet I don't know who the Rid really is and never will. This short seems to take the "Rid's persona" to the next level. Is he good or bad? Does it matter? One thing for sure, he's definitely on everyone's mind.
05/3/2005The Rid: Am I a myth? To paraphrase Gwen Stefani, I'm just a dude.
05/3/2005Klause Muppet: Litcube and I just saw "Kung Fu Hustle". Fuck yeah bitches!
05/3/2005Litcube: Holy Fucking Shit!
05/3/2005Klause Muppet: Hah!
05/3/2005Jawbreaker: As Klause said, I am a fan of the Rid. I think some people think he is too critical or obnoxious but I think he is stating his opinion like everyone else on this site. Therefore, Rid = good. But, I guess it really doesn't matter, huh?
05/3/2005qualcomm (1): incoherent lustrelessness
05/3/2005Klause Muppet: Thanks Qualcomm.
05/3/2005The Rid: I'm still a Klause fan, Klause.
05/3/2005John Slocum: Pony: should I pile on a low vote here and above (see above short) without a comment, or only if I make a thoughtful comment?
If only I could think of something to say... Litcube?