AcmeShorts

My Statistics as a 21 Year Old Woman: # of Friends: 25 Too many names to list. They are so great! # of Best Friends: 5 Now these guys are the best! Kelly, Ryan, Charlie, Diane and Jenn. Love them forever! # of Past Boyfriends: 10 Those idiots. Always had to dump them first. # of Current Boyfriends: 0 These guys just don’t know what they are missing! # of Current Hookups: 3 Ok, this might cause some drama but the one is rich, the other makes me laugh and the third has a humongous cock! I just can’t decide. # of Guys Made Out With: 74 This is the one stat I am not sure about. Could be less. More likely, could be more. # of Blowjobs Given: 69 Hah... 69. Yeah, see above. # of Times 69'd : 34 Is 34 too many? # of Lesbian Hookups: 4 Ok so I was drunk. Really drunk. Ok, really drunk those four times. I wonder how Jamie is doing now anyway. # of Family Members Hooked Up With: 1 Holy fuck! I forgot I hooked up with my own brother! Oh Jesus.. Did we have sex? Maybe I should just count him as one of the make out guys. Aw, fuck. I hope Mom and Dad don’t find out.
Date Written: April 12, 2005
Author: Jawbreaker
Comments:
04/12/2005 Jon Matza (9):
04/12/2005 Klause Muppet (9):
04/12/2005 TheBuyer (9):
04/12/2005 Pix (7):
04/12/2005 Litcube (4):
04/12/2005 Litcube: Heh.
04/12/2005 Will Disney (5):
04/12/2005 Ewan Snow (5):
04/12/2005 Dylan Danko (8):
04/12/2005 Jon Matza: nggh
04/12/2005 Will Disney: delicious?
04/12/2005 Mr. Pony (8):
04/12/2005 Litcube: Yay Jawbreaker!
04/12/2005 Litcube: You 21, Jawbreaker?
04/12/2005 Litcube: And had sex with your brother?
04/12/2005 Mr. Pony: Aww, the Rid's not your brother, is he?
04/12/2005 TheBuyer: I never had a sister, or female sibling either. Bagged me a Japanese girl once; she hated her father. Anyhow, what do you say?
04/13/2005 Jawbreaker: No, I am not 21, The Rid is NOT my brother and I did not have sex with my imaginary brother either. Just so we clear that up. Sorry for not voting though. I got a little "preoccupied."