AcmeShorts

I have a retarded cat and a gimp cat. A lot of people think that their cat is "retarded" but mine is the real deal, she has Downs. Big thick neck, slobbers, strong, really enjoys professional wrestling, the whole bit. She's constantly either hugging or screaming and she doesn't go 'meow' either she goes 'mwa mwa'. My other cat? Spina bifida. It has something to do with amniotic fluid or something, I have a pamphlet. Either way, if you run the vacuum in my house they tard out, it's fucking hilarious.
Date Written: March 24, 2005
Author: TheBuyer
Average Vote: 2.7
Comments:
04/4/2005 Partytime: Is this the guest short?
04/4/2005 Will Disney: well, let's see, qualcomm *does* have a few retarded cats...
04/4/2005 Ewan Snow (3): I don't know, this didn't "do it" for me. An actual retarded cat would be (is) funny, but this short isn't, at least to this brutal reader. 2.x + .x for brevity (where .3 < x < .7).
04/4/2005 Will Disney: yeah, it's a good thing this one was short!
04/4/2005 anonymous:
04/4/2005 qualcomm (2):
04/4/2005 qualcomm: i don't know why i even gave this a two.
04/4/2005 John Slocum (2):
04/4/2005 anonymous:
04/4/2005 Will Disney: although that is a very cute kittie. not the scary twofaced one.
04/4/2005 Mr. Pony (2): I do like the sedate manner in which the narrator tells you how funny his cats are, at the end, sort of, a little, maybe. OTHERWISE DUMB!!!!
04/4/2005 anonymous:
04/4/2005 Klause Muppet (3): I laughed.
04/4/2005 The Rid (3): The idea of a retarded cat is funny. This short misses the mark.
04/4/2005 anonymous: (picture of another fucking cat)
04/4/2005 Litcube (2): Bloop!
04/4/2005 qualcomm: any short that uses the word "tard" or "tarding" or any other such construction gets 1 star from here on out.
04/4/2005 anonymous: I didn't hear you gavel.
04/4/2005 Litcube: Is gavel an intransitive verb?
04/4/2005 anonymous: Yat totally, also a noun.
04/4/2005 anonymous: Yat, y'hear?
04/4/2005 scoop (1): Jerk.
04/4/2005 anonymous: So?
04/4/2005 Ewan Snow: Disney, what's the threshold for getting voted off the home page? (Not that I'm encouraging people to vote this off, I'm just wondering.)
04/4/2005 Will Disney: Currently there is no threshold, as I decided it was funnier was stinkers to remain on the home page. However, this could be changed by popular uprising.
04/4/2005 John Slocum: I also decided it was funnier was stinkers to remain on the home page. Great minds think alike, Disney.
04/5/2005 Will Disney: i think you mean FOR stinkers, stupid! ha!
04/5/2005 John Slocum: *YOU'RE* stupid
04/5/2005 Phony Millions (4): Fucking funny! Fuck those sour assholes, Buyer. I laughed heartily and it was quick.
04/5/2005 TheBuyer: Thanks!
04/6/2005 Dick Vomit (5): I laughed. I sure did. So fucking stupid.