Yeah, fuck you! That's right, fuckin' fuck you, you fuckin' cunts! Everything is awful and you're all a bunch of buttlickers. And not a buttlicker after a clean shit, but after a nasty diarrhea shit, when there's still stringy bits and chunks of corn on your ass. And you're licking it. Yeah, that's right. And that's where I come in. I put on my best leather gloves, take a handful of the diarrhea shit and smear it on the wall and write "Mr. Negative was here" in letters as high as the amount of shit that you've shat will afford me to write. And I dot the i's with the corn from that fucking poop. You dumb cocksucking cunts. Fuck you. I hate you all.
Date Written: March 15, 2005 Author:Mr. Negative Average Vote: 2.7778
Comments:
03/23/2005Partytime: You X-rated Oscar the Grouch you.
03/23/2005Jawbreaker: I love corn!
03/23/2005The Rid: Yikes. There's some serious bad feelings here.
03/23/2005Mr. Pony: There are questions we must ask ourselves here. What is this short trying to accomplish? Does the short successfully meet its goal? Is there a distinction between author and narrator? Does this distinction, or lack thereof, benefit the short, or cause harm to its mission? Does the short produce unintended consequences? What is the POV of the audience? Are we standing over the short, observing it as we would a snail? Or do we sit dead in its sights, subject to its gaze, hypnotized in its thrall?
03/23/2005qualcomm (1):
03/23/2005qualcomm: that would be for lack of imagination. i mean, corn? are you really going to focus on shit corn? i like the idea of mr. negative, but man, i wish he were in smarter hands.
03/23/2005The Rid: I'll bet Mr. Negative wishes he were in smarter hands, too!
03/23/2005grandpa: I fought in two wars for this?! Jesus H. Christ.
03/23/2005Will Disney: hey, buddy, take it easy, all right?
03/23/2005anonymous: Sorry, all. Jus' writin' about shit. Sorry it's not more, I don't know, Acmelike. And FU.
03/23/2005anonymous: Stoopid.
03/23/2005Litcube (2): Author, can I ask you a question? Dude to dude? Seriously, I have a question for you, and I'd like you to answer as honestly as possible.
03/23/2005anonymous: Cube, unless you're going to ask if I want to go camping, I'd rather not hear it. And FU.
03/23/2005Litcube: So you don't have time for me?
03/23/2005anonymous: It's not that I don't time for you. I just think you're going to ask some fuckstick question designed to make me look like an asshole and you like a genius. Not that it's that hard to make me look stupid, but still. FU.
03/23/2005Litcube: So you do have time for me; that’s good to hear. Your concerns regarding my calculated attempts at sabotaging your character, dignity, or reputation, are absolutely untrue, author, and I’m not quite sure where these claims are coming from in light of our short transaction within this short. There’s no reason to distrust me, is there? I just want to talk. I think that there’s a warm ray within you that wants to break free from your soul’s stygian sleeve. Do you feel it? I know you do. I’m smiling, head cocked to the right, and pointing at you right now… Hey? You’re feelin’ it, aren’t ya big guy? That’s right; you have the capacity for compassion. We can work this through. You can trust me.
03/23/2005cuntry: what is it about corn in poo nostalgia that gets everybody going?
03/23/2005anonymous: Okay, Cube...I'll bite...
03/23/2005Klause Muppet (5):
03/23/2005Jawbreaker (4):
03/23/2005Phony Millions (3): What's up with that Muppet's 5 star? You've got to explain that shit, brother. This isn't that bad though.
03/23/2005anonymous: Clearly, Klause is no cunt.
03/23/2005Mr. Critic (4): Now you all know how to vote.
03/23/2005Mr. Pony: Phony, I'm surprised at your 3 star!
03/24/2005Mr. Pony: Yeah, I'm with qualcomm on this one, if you can believe that. I think this is pretty unoriginal as far as an insult goes. I mean, sure, it uses the F word a lot, and we get called a cunt a couple of times, and there's some doo-doo writing (!), but what do we really have here? The hate and anger feels childish and pitiable, but not in the sort of good way that makes me think about humanity or anything. It feels as one-dimensional as the Mr. Negative persona. I mean, you know he's going to act mad and probably call you a cunt, but never with any reason. Never with real technique, and never with any real conviction. It's like when you're walking down the street and you see dog crap. Like, there, you saw it, it's gross, and your day is probably a little less good for having seen it, and maybe for having smelled it, but there's no intelligence behind this encounter. There's no reasoning, and no meaning. You just saw some dog shit. Mr. Negative just called you a cunt. Okey doke.
03/24/2005Litcube: (Holy fucking crap that was funny. "Okey doke.")
03/24/2005Templeton Dink: The cunt doesn't bother me because I have one on my face, it's the - whoa...sorry, I'll start over....ahem. The cunt calling doesn't bother me, the buttlicker calling does, it's just a stupid thing to say. Kind of like dillhole. On the other hand I think dicksmack is hilarious, also weiner, but he didn't use those ones.
03/24/2005Klause Muppet: Phony, perhaps this short resembled my mood today. And for that, my rating was bias. Perhaps me rating it a 5 and clearly going against the popular vote here at Acmeshorts, was my way of saying "Hey author, look at me! I'm telling everyone to fuck off too!" Perhaps I'm just looking for a friend... huh? Any takers? Somebody love me!
03/24/2005TheBuyer (1): Dude, it happens.
03/24/2005The Rid (3): Sweatjob.
03/24/2005Jon Matza: But what was Litcube's question?
03/24/2005Litcube: I think my question can wait, Matza. Opening up takes time, and Mr. Negative took some very brave, very large steps yesterday.
05/13/2005The Rid: Mr. Negative is definitely an angry guy.
05/13/2005anonymous: You think so, Rid? Why don't you log in as him and throw around some more unimaginative, repetitive insults? That would be cunting awesome!
05/13/2005The Rid: I could do that, anon_user_b, but I'll do it as myself: You're a cowardly cunt! Huzzah!
05/13/2005Mr. Pony: Yeah, anon_b, that's some really groundbreaking detective work there. Why not take some credit for it? Congratulations, you faceless chicken!
05/13/2005Mr. Pony (2):
05/13/2005anonymous: You want some too Pony? Shall we discuss revealing the identity of a certain Jacob Starfish?
05/13/2005anonymous: Pony, two stars so long after publishing seems kind of cunty, doesn't it?
05/14/2005Mr. Pony: What? No. I think shorts are live, all the time. That's why they keep coming up, time and again, in the random lists you see after you comment, and on every author's page. If an author wants people to stop voting, they can always hide the short. And the fact that my vote was on the negative side is a thing, right? I mean, you wouldn't suggest that giving something a four or five-star rating a year after publication was cuntly, would you? As far as that goes, I think most folks would say that it's fair to take the bad with the good, if you're going to take any of it at all. You might even say it's all good, because I give this two freely and honestly and with no malice in my heart. Anyway, if you'll read my long long comments below, you'll see my vote wasn't exactly out of the blue. I mean, I really didn't like this short.
05/14/2005Mr. Pony: Oh, anon_b.
05/14/2005anonymous: Perhaps you're right, Pony. And the word is "cunty," not "cuntly."