Short #1893 – AcmeShorts

CIRCUMSTANCE by Markus Greggory Smith

Directed by Hansoff Gus.

Characters
MARK An Egyptian pharaoh down on his luck
AMUN The Egyptian God of Creation. He has a ram head

ACT ONE SCENE ONE
Setting: Egypt

(Mark stands alone in his chambers. Dramatically he crosses stage left, then stage right, and ends up stage slightly to the down right middle centre.)

MARK: What life is this? I am bored with it all.
(Enter Amun)
AMUN: Mark! Do not chastise your life, for you have much.
MARK: Stranger!
AMUN: I am Amun.
(Thunder)
MARK: O forgive me Amun. I should have noticed the colour of your eyes. Thous coming has given my life meaning.
AMUN: Your life had meaning before I arrived.
MARK: O but such a useless meaning! For now-
AMUN: (Amun slaps Mark) Am I not making sense? Your life has purpose. You have purpose. Go forth and live your life with purpose.
MARK: What would the Almighty God of Creation wish me to tell the world?
AMUN: I don't know?... make something up.
MARK: I shall spread it. Give me thou blessing and I shall go.
AMUN: Uhm. (Amun flaps his arms up and down) Off you go then.
MARK: Thank you O Lord. Thou are great.
AMUN: Sure

Comments:

03/15/2005 The Rid: I don't get it.

03/15/2005 anonymous: [insert standard T-shirt joke]

03/15/2005 Will Disney: I wonder if 'Mark' was really a common name in Ancient Egypt.

03/15/2005 Klause Muppet: Good point Disney

03/15/2005 TheBuyer (4): Wasn't Cleopatra banging some guy named Mark? Maybe it was Mike, whatever, ancient peoples, their cultures and everyone who studies them are dumb so bwakka-kakka. Funny short. I'm getting laid tonight. Also, I enjoy sushi.

03/15/2005 Will Disney: WHO'S THE LUCKY LADY, THEBUYER?

03/15/2005 anonymous: Wouldn't you like to know?

03/15/2005 Blister Buddy (2): In the "god as a normal dude" genre, this is ok, but not excellent. Kind of reminds me of the old Buffy show, actually, in that sense.

03/15/2005 Litcube (4): I laughed. I hate sushi, but will take anything else high protein. I am not getting laid tonight.

03/15/2005 TheBuyer: It's Pix, it's Pix!

03/15/2005 Klause Muppet: Buyer, You better knock on wood, just in case.

03/15/2005 Litcube: Also, Buyer, you’d better capitalize You, just in case you're a smiley-faced cum belching sycophantic alter boy.

03/15/2005 John Slocum: buyer, can you set up a webcam live simulcast so your beloved acme community can watch? Let's make sure to have an exciting facial at the end.

03/15/2005 TheBuyer: do you mean after I'm done crying from the overwhelming beautiful intimacy of our joining, or after she's inflated and powdered?

03/15/2005 anonymous: (*snort*) I'm so glad my short has generated so much conversation... about The Buyer's sex life. (*snort*)

03/15/2005 TheBuyer: sorry guy. Stella tall-boy?

03/15/2005 anonymous: Buyer, shouldn't you be unfastening an overall strap right about now instead of typing away on your keyboard?

03/15/2005 Mr. Pony (3): I thought there was some almost funny stuff here--Didn't quite hit the mark for me, though. Like BB says, regular dude god is okay, but I think if you want to do something stock like that, I think you have to do it really well or add something new. I liked this more on the first reading, you should know. For some stupid reason "He has a ram head" actually got funnier on subsequent readings--maybe that's what got you up to three.

03/15/2005 Pix: I'm confused. What does our fabulous and intimate sex life have to do with this short? PS. I really wish TheBuyer wouldn't cry so much after. I know I am great and all but its getting a little old.

03/15/2005 Litcube: What, the sex? AAAAAHaa ha ha [burp].

03/16/2005 John Slocum (3): Pony, thank you for doing the thinking for me after such a trying day. My fight with Litcube really sapped me of energy and motivation. But I basically agree more or less with what you wrote. One thing I would add is I liked the readability.

03/16/2005 John Slocum: also enjoyed this: 'AMUN: (Amun bitch slaps Mark)'

03/16/2005 Mr. Pony: I thought this about that: It might have been funnier if it had read simply Amun slaps Mark. "Bitch-slap" is sort of, I don't know, a pre-fab phrase. It's at least kind of funny out of the box, and while it might work here, I have a hard time assigning credit, like when someone makes a reasonably tasty dish using Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup.

03/16/2005 Litcube: Klause? Wouldn't have thought this was you. Actually, I thought this was Pix based on TheBuyer's comments.

03/16/2005 Partytime (3): This has a Mel Brooks meets Godot thing going on. Liked the premise of a high school play where the playwrite named the hero after himself and took on a "deep" theme. Enjoyed the director's comments. Glad bitch slap was changed to slap. Need to get the mistake amun attribution out of there.

03/16/2005 Klause Muppet: yeah, i've been changing it up a bit... you know, on my days off and junk.