AcmeShorts

“Why is it that all my accomplishments must crumble to dust?” he asked his secretary. “Why is it that I can’t get an even break in the rotten world?”

“I don’t know, sir,” she said.

He picked up the #2 pencil that was sitting on his desk and tapped it a few times against his notepad. Then, without warning, he broke the pencil into two pieces. One of the pieces was much bigger than the other.

“An even break, goddammit! Why can’t I get an even break?”

“I’m sorry, sir – I don’t know,” said the secretary.

“Dance!” he told her. “Dance!”

The secretary had been standing in the corner of the room, with her hands on her hips and with a medium-sized book balanced precariously on her head. Upon his instruction, she began to move back and forth nervously in a kind of a dance, her eyes rolling up to watch the book balanced on her head.

“DANCE!” he told her.

She began dancing faster. After a few seconds, the book slipped and fell to the ground.

“I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THAT BOOK ON YOUR HEAD!” he screamed.

Date Written: February 27, 2003
Author: Will Disney
Average Vote: 3.8
Comments:
02/27/2003 anonymous (2):
02/27/2003 anonymous (1):
03/6/2003 Shomer Shabbas (5): good shit, man
02/13/2004 scoop (4): Sweet reveal, Disney. Now daddy wants to see you shake it.
05/15/2004 TheBuyer (4): Ms. Holloway? good letter
07/19/2004 qualcomm: why's the secretary have to be a woman, dude?
07/19/2004 Will Disney: Verisimilitude, dude.
07/19/2004 qualcomm (4): ok
07/19/2004 John Slocum (5): Come back to acme, Shomer Shabbas, it needs you more now than ever! Another excellent Disney short. DANCE!
07/19/2004 scoop: This is a good one. The community should show a little compassion and embrace this orphan as one of the family. Four more stars. I'm particularly with my initial use of reveal as a noun, a practice widely beloved among the community. If Disney had not gone to the trouble of writing this short, I never would have done that. Thanks Disney.
08/13/2004 Litcube (4): Dayance!
12/3/2004 CrazyGuy (4):
12/3/2004 John Slocum: gosh I love this one.
12/3/2004 Jon Matza (5): Reminds me of Peter Loew and his secretary Alva in "Vampire's Kiss".
12/3/2004 John Slocum: too late, too late, too late, too late, too late.
12/5/2004 John Slocum: gosh I love this one.