AcmeShorts

Steph looked across the table at her older brother. He is such an idiot, she thinks. All he wants to do is impress his stupid girlfriend, Hannah. "Hey, Steph. Remember when you were 5 and you peed your pants in school?" Todd said while eyeing Hannah’s chest that seemed to be popping out of her shirt. "You always do stupid shit like that." Todd laughed and rubbed the ho's back. Steph poked at her mashed potatoes and lima beans while she rolled her eyes. I hate him, she thinks. "Hey Steph. Remember the time when I broke your wrist playing football? That was pretty funny, right?" Todd then moves his hand down Hannah’s thigh. Ugh. I can’t stand him. Something needs to be done. “Hey Steph. Remember when…” All Steph hears are the words “Hey Steph.” She blocks everything else out and her eyes lock on her dinner plate. That fucker. Steph moves in slow motion as she takes a huge forkload of mashed potatoes and flings them at her brother. The homemade potatoes fly through air and smash into Todd’s face and chest. Hannah throws Todd’s hand off her thigh and laughs hysterically. Steph keels over in laughter. All Todd can do is sit and stare at the big mess all over his upper body. “Moooooommmmm!!!! Steph threw food at me!” Todd cries like a little baby. “Oh, Todd,” Mom says from the living room. “Steph would never do that. Just clean off your shirt and put some stain remover on whatever you seemed to spill on yourself. You were always a messy baby” Todd’s voice rose to a squeak, “But, Mom, she did! I swear.” Hannah just could not stop laughing. “You were a messy baby, huh honey?” she says in a little kid voice. Hah. Hah. Maybe Hannah isn’t so bad after all.