Ariel laid awake in bed. The mexican she'd eaten hours earlier was not sitting well. He'd been short, which was normally a red flag, but his skin had been on the white side. That threw her. Maybe it was the jalapenos?
She went fetal as her stomach gurgled and cramped. If she could just get through the next hour, everything would be all right.
Date Written: January 17, 2005 Author:cuntry Average Vote: 2.9
Comments:
02/3/2005The Rid: Mluh.
02/3/2005Litcube (2):
02/3/2005The Rid (2):
02/3/2005Mr. Pony (2): A fun concept, but I think the language and execution prevents it from blooming.
02/3/2005TheBuyer (3):
02/3/2005Jawbreaker (3):
02/3/2005Dick Vomit (2): POOM!
02/3/2005Dick Vomit: I really think we guests need to work harder! me especially! What's wrong with us! Quality not quantity! Et cetera!
02/3/2005Litcube: You just hit the nail on the head, DV: quality over quantity. Are you listening, you placeholding princesses?
02/3/2005Phony Millions (4): I'm balancing out that spree of twos. This is funny - it's absurd is all; that's the humor.
02/4/2005Streifenbeuteldachs (4): Ha!
02/4/2005John Slocum (3):
02/4/2005Litcube: I'm glad to see a variety in tastes here.
02/4/2005Ewan Snow: Wow, Jimson called this as being a cuntry short, but I thought she was wrong. Not bad, Jimson.
02/4/2005Jimson S. Sorghum (4): Yeah, I'm going with Brad. I have to give this at least half an extra point for "He'd been short, which was normally a red flag...."
02/5/2005Phony Millions: yeah that's definitely good, that line, because it immediately establishes a tone of familiarity with the reader, like we're in complicity with the author's quirky cannibalism. I think, Cuntry, that this may well become a sort of 'cult classic' at acme. It's super short as well, and that helps it pack a punch.
02/5/2005Mr. Pony: Actually, it was being thrust into the character's head like that which provoked my negative response here. It felt, I don't know...invasive? Presumptuous? It was definitely a gut response, though. The really short shorts have that kick, for better or for worse.
02/5/2005Phony Millions: Invasive, yeah! I can see what you mean. It's all...casual and shit.