AcmeShorts

“I had the dream again,” Farnsworth Fillsworth said slugging his wife in the gut.

“You know the one with the dentist,” he continued smashing a folding chair over the small head of his Mexican gardener out by the driveway.

“I’m sitting in the chair, right, and this light, you know the one, like an antique, its glaring down like a spotlight, like something from the movies,” he explained to his secretary outside his office, delivering a series of devastating atomic leg drops.

“And the dentists head, you see, his head sort of magically appears over mine bobbing like a balloon, it is a dream after all, and he’s got this real beatific smile on his face and I’m like, ‘so what’s the verdict doc,’” he described to that morning’s first client, his black wingtip loafer grinding his face to wet smudge on the unlikely marbled floor.


“And he takes a pair of pliers and tries to break them from my mouth, pry it right form the root, but they don’t budge, the tough little bastards. The dentist, a Jewish fella, he just stares down and says, ‘you have the most magnificent teeth. They are beautiful. Immaculate. The best set of male adult teeth I’ve ever seen,” he recounted to the night janitor in the hallway while bludgeoning him with a steel trashcan.

“And I’m like ‘Boo-Yah,” he shouted to his reflection in the bathroom, as he placed a revolver to his head and squeezed the trigger spreading his beautiful head in a shower of tooth-sized skull and macaronied brain chunks .

Interpretation: Teeth falling out in our dreams are frequent and common in many people. It is often a symbol of a concern for one’s self-image, since smiles are often the first feature people see when they meet us. It sometimes has to do with a transition from one life stage to another, harkening perhaps to the loss of our baby teeth as we paddle forward in the life stream, garnering new raw experiential data for processing in our CPU. It also, in the cases of some males, indicates a fear of castration, in lieu of the fact that men do not like having their penises chopped off. It is hard to determine what the inverse of the teeth dream could mean without proper context, however.