Their fluorescent ski jackets piled upon the free chair at the cafeteria table, Dick Vomit, Litcube, The Rid, and TheBuyer, were passionately debating the outcome of a fantasy match between Luc Picard and The Rid’s 7th level gnome mage over a clutter of miniatures and game books.
From across the barren hall, the nerds looked up from their dispute to the creaking of metal doors. Clad in expensive sports jackets and black jeans, in walked Matza, Qualcomm, Disney, Scoop, Mr. Pony, Snow – they were all there.
The stomachs of the geeks fluttered, as it became apparent that the cool kids were heading directly toward their table. They halted conversation and feigned interest in their papers, keeping their eyes glued to the table, unsure of themselves. Dick Vomit was abruptly uncertain of what to do with his hands.
As the crew passed the bench of huge nerds, Matza looked over and nodded. “Hey, dudes,” he said, with the supernatural coolness and awe-inspiring charisma of an ageless god.
The huge nerds, in their collective rapture, peed their pants.
Date Written: December 9, 2004 Author:Litcube Average Vote: 3.6
Comments:
12/21/2004hagit mizrachy (2): I guess I don't know how cute this is on accounta my bein new. But, how about in the next episode, the gargantuan nerds look from the barren metal of creaking doors?
12/21/2004The Rid: First, why does no one click the inside joke button anymore? Second, since when do cool kids wear black jeans? Is it 1992?
12/21/2004Will Disney: wait - who wrote this? ewan snow?
12/21/2004Ewan Snow: NO!
12/21/2004Will Disney: Dude, admit it !
12/21/2004Ewan Snow: You're just jealous cuz you weren't listed as one of the cool kids, nerdlinger!
12/21/2004Dick Vomit (2): Alright. Guilty as charged. I wrote this.
12/21/2004Will Disney: umm, dude, read again!
12/21/2004Ewan Snow: Oh, yeah... So why are you jealous, then?
12/21/2004scoop: Get over it Disney. Your not in there. I've read the thing, like, a hunded times. But at least you can find some solace in the fact that your nerdiness providing a chiaroscuro effect, allowing for a deeper, richer appreciation of our coolness.
12/21/2004TheBuyer: I can't be nerdy, I did karate.
12/21/2004Jon Matza: I would have liked more detailed description of my abs, glutes and triceps. Quite compelling nonetheless...
12/21/2004Ewan Snow: Yeah, I would have liked more descriptions of Matza's glutes as well.
12/21/2004Jon Matza: But seriously, I, Matza, enjoyed this tartly sarcastic follow-up to our squabble (if I'm reading correctly)...
12/21/2004Dylan Danko: I think i remember that day. The reason why Benny and I weren't there leading the pack as usual is because we were scoring some coke for Egg Jenny's kegga.
12/21/2004anonymous: Good eye, Matza. Also, your chiseled grid-work of abs would have been visible under your high-cut football jersey; not to mention the striations of your three-layer corded triceps. With every graceful stride through the cafeteria, your rubber taught glutes should have pulsed in rhythm under your white spandex pads.
12/21/2004TheBuyer (5): hey author, eff yoo.
12/21/2004Dick Vomit: Matza, if you mean our squabble, yours and mine, then I must admit I did not (guest) author this short.
12/21/2004TheBuyer: Litcube, so who would win anyhow, Picard or the dwarf?
12/21/2004Litcube: That depends. What level is Luc Picard?
12/21/2004TheBuyer: Slightly post-beardless-Riker, pre-Locutusish. You know, prime-time.
12/21/2004Litcube: If The Rid's gnome wasn't of 7th level, and avoided the stereotypical illusionist school of magic, then perhaps Picard would totally, like, kick his ass.
12/21/2004The Rid (5): Well, I can take a joke.
12/21/2004Jon Matza: Then when do I get my apology??