AcmeShorts

It was the office Christmas party, held at some queer dyke joint down in the village. The vibe was festive, gay. Ben had been ribbing his colleague Jean all night.

"You suck," he said.

"You suck more!" she said back.

His attempt at building his self esteem by ripping on his more youthful (yet less talented!) colleague was working.

Later, after the holiday games were done and everyone was plenty liquored up, Ben approached Jean again. She was with Eddie Sedgwick, Ilene and Jack.

"Jean," said Ben. "You've got freakishly long fingers!"

"Yeah," said Jean. "But you've got a really small penis! Asshole!"

Everyone laughed and laughed.

"Yahtzee!" yelled Jack.

Ben chuckled a little. "Right," he said. "How funny. Yes. Yes, I do have a small penis. And I'm an asshole."

Everyone kept laughing.

The police found Ben's body in his apartment two days later. The note next to him read, "The woman I love thinks I have a small penis. Damn you, God!"
Date Written: December 9, 2004
Author: The Rid
Average Vote: 3.8
Comments:
12/20/2004 The Rid (5): Jean, that bitch.
12/20/2004 Will Disney: so he was still upset about it, huh?
12/20/2004 anonymous: Yeah, Disney. It really hit home!
12/20/2004 hagit mizrachy (3): Twilight zone sister, twilight zone.
12/20/2004 TheBuyer: Are Jack and Eddie Sedgwick married?
12/20/2004 anonymous: They could be in these progressive times, you know. But no, they're not. I should have written Eddie Sedgwick, Ilene and Jack, probably, but who knows. Perhaps I'll change it now?
12/20/2004 TheBuyer: just as well, they talk about gay marriage like there's no such thing as gay divorce.
12/20/2004 TheBuyer (3): I like it right up to 'Yahtzee!'
12/20/2004 Litcube (4): 3.517. With my nose hiding the last sentence, it'd be a 3.729.
12/21/2004 cuntry: 5 your own short? lord.
12/21/2004 The Rid: Somebody's gotta do it!
01/25/2005 Jawbreaker (5): I think it's great when a woman tells the man the honest truth about his dick. Way to go Jean (even though your name sucks)
01/25/2005 The Rid: Jamwbreaker, they should've called you "Ballbreaker." Thanks for the finski.
01/25/2005 Streifenbeuteldachs (4): It happened to a friend of mine once, but instead of dying, he married the girl.