AcmeShorts

Jeff built a rocket in his back yard and had big dreams. He planned on going to the moon.

“What is that thing?” his wife asked.

“It’s a rocket. I plan on going to the moon.”

“Are you crazy,” she said. “That rocket is only two feet tall.

“You silly woman,” Jeff said. “I’m not going to the moon in this model rocket! It’s just a coincidence. I plan on going to the moon by as yet undetermined means.”

“Well come inside, you’re missing Space Trek.”

“Oh no! That’s my favorite program!”

Several years later Jeff came into a small fortune and used it to hitch a ride on a Russian spaceship. But the ship was just going to the International Space Station, not the moon.

“I thought you said you were going to the moon,” his wife said.

“So did I,” Jeff said, with a tear in his eye.
Date Written: December 3, 2004
Author: CrazyGuy
Average Vote: 4.3333
Comments:
12/13/2004 Litcube (5): Ah! Refreshing again, after so much not so refreshing content. I laughed. Nicely done, author. Although, wouldn't someone ask if one is crazy rather than say it?
12/13/2004 Litcube: "A fellow can withstand only so much ostentatious vernacular before he vomits from saturation," said the man, pretentiously.
12/13/2004 qualcomm (5): a triumphant return for jacob starfish.
12/13/2004 TheBuyer: I like the sing-song tone of the whole thing and I feel infantalised and warm.
12/13/2004 Mr. Pony (5): I'm willing to bet that this isn't Starfish, but I do like it, quite a lot. Actually sounds more like Disney to me, but he's on the other side of the thing.
12/13/2004 TheBuyer (5): what Pony said except for the part about it not being Starfish, I'll bet it is. 500 credits.
12/13/2004 Dick Vomit (4): This is indeed refreshing, but 5-star refreshing?
12/13/2004 Mr. Pony: Richard: My five was contingent upon you (or someone like you) giving it a four. I thank you for your cooperation. Buyer, I'll take that bet. I advise everyone else to take it as well; you'll be in for some sweet sweet credits.
12/13/2004 The Rid (4): Good, only mildly funny.
12/13/2004 Dick Vomit: Pony: will you just give me some credits? I'm a little short this month.
12/13/2004 cuntry (4):
12/13/2004 TheBuyer: Pony, bet is made. Ricky - if you want in for some hassle-free, no interest credits, you can get in on this bet I just made with Pony on BetOnYourFriends dot com.
12/13/2004 hagit mizrachy (4): Quaint, innocent, and Wallace and Grommet funny. If the author removes "It's just a coincidence" from the fifth line, "you said" from the ninth line, and adds a violent or sexual twist I will five star it.
12/13/2004 Jac?b Starfish: Thank you, I worked very very very hard on this.
12/13/2004 TheBuyer: dude, what happened to your "o"?
12/13/2004 Mr. Pony: I have taken theBuyer's bet! I am so sure that Jacob Starfish didn't write this that I have risked five hundred credits on it! I am going to win! I am going to be so rich! You should all take this bet!!
12/13/2004 TheBuyer: ssssh Mr. Pony, I'm on the phone! I'm ordering fabulous things with the credits I'm sure to win from you tonight because I will be the winner.
12/13/2004 Mr. Pony: I'm going to go swimming in my new credits later. I am going to win!! Those of you who have played the cards with me know that I am not bluffing. Give theBuyer your email address so you can take his credits! He may be at work one day, and find himself calling himself on the bill collector telephone!! Then the next day he will find himself in debtor's prison, and I will feel very very bad, but there will be NOTHING I CAN DO about it!! I am going to win!!!
12/13/2004 Litcube: You will lose.
12/13/2004 Mr. Pony: You tell him, 'Cube!
12/13/2004 scoop (5): The moon serves several important functions.
12/13/2004 Litcube: No, YOU will lose! You are not the fastest fast car racer here!
12/13/2004 TheBuyer: alright, Litcube is now invited to share in the spoils of poor, plundered Mr. Pony who will be soon observed wandering the streets with a coffee can full of wet cigarette butts he collected from the gutter so he can sell them for credits because HE WILL HAVE NONE very soon!
12/13/2004 Litcube: In all the Holy Awesomeness of BOYF.com, I have the option to either join Pony, or opt out. Disney, if BOYF.com V2.0 is not better than this in January, I will be taking my credits with me when I leave.
12/13/2004 TheBuyer: JEEEZus...let this page forever show for the record that that sucks.
12/13/2004 Jon Matza (4): I, Matza, liked the "it’s just a coincidence" graf but don't think the 'refreshing change of pace' qualities noted by others warrants all these fives. Also, I object on principal to Pony's pre-emptive corrective five, because it makes him seem like a nice guy (even if he is) and thus could predispose others to vote friendlily (you heard me right) on his shorts. Finally I strongly disapprove of the non-ziti "credits" discussion below.
12/13/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs (3): Pretty good, entertaining, but the See Spot Run writing didn't do it for me, even though it was intentional.
12/13/2004 anonymous: Yeah, but who wrote it?????
12/14/2004 anonymous: What the...? CrazyGuy!!!
12/14/2004 Litcube: Holy Fuck. Pony, what is the meaning of this?
12/14/2004 anonymous: Yeah, Pony, explain yourself!
12/14/2004 John Slocum (4): What the fuck is "it’s just a coincidence"?
12/14/2004 TheBuyer: Mr. Pony - I win.
12/14/2004 TheBuyer: also, I can't believe that Jacob Starfish was CrazyGuy all along and no one noticed.
12/14/2004 Mr. Pony: Curse you! Curse you all! The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was proving that he was Mr. Pony! Mr. Pony is Jacob Starfish! Mr. Pony is James K. Polk! Mr. Pony is the Finch! Mr. Pony is Terrence (flirting with himself) Mr. Pony is Streifenbeuteldachs! Mr. Pony is Louise Fletcher! Mr. Pony is CrazyGuy! DAMMITHEADS ALL OF YOU
12/14/2004 Mr. Pony: Wait okay two of those are true.
12/14/2004 TheBuyer: Ha! So you admit that - wait, what?
12/14/2004 Mr. Pony: DAMMITHEADS
12/14/2004 Ewan Snow: So, Pony, were you CrazyGuy or not? Seriously.
12/14/2004 James K. Polk: YOU'RE NOT JAMES K. POLK, MR. PONY!!!!!
12/14/2004 The Fynch: Mr. Pony has not taken his medicine. Mr. Pony is playing ALIAS SHELL GAME with all of you. Disengage him. Talk him down. DISENGAGE. signed, The Fynch
12/14/2004 Ewan Snow: Pony, seriously. Were you CrazyGuy?
12/14/2004 Ewan Snow: Seriously.
12/14/2004 The Fynch: Maybe I am posting this twice (who can say?), but Mr. Pony is playing ALIAS SHELL GAME. Disengage! Disengage! signed, The Fynch
12/14/2004 Mr. Pony: Ewan, I was not CrazyGuy, but I take that as quite a compliment, since you were clearly that joke's biggest fan!
12/14/2004 Mr. Pony: Mr. President: Are you sure of that?
12/14/2004 Mr. Pony: Fynch: Funny you should mention that! I just started taking [censored] again yesterday! I had run out, and had forgotten to get another prescription. This is a good thing, because it was starting to look like a luxurious bubble bath in the toilet whenever I took a piss!
12/14/2004 Ewan Snow: It was a compliment, Mr. Pony.
12/14/2004 Ewan Snow: Hey wait a second, Pony, you said "two of those are true". That means you are one of them other than Starfish, if my arithmetic serves me correctly!
12/14/2004 Mr. Pony: Luxuuuurious bubble bath!
12/15/2004 Mr. Pony: Wait. Disney?