AcmeShorts

Okay, okay, okay, so, like, this one time, Jen and I were totally... Okay, we were, like, on the stairs, after lunch, and Nick walked by... We were, like, definitely not supposed to be there. Anyway, I don't really know Nick, but he looked at me... The stairs by the science room, with the weird step that's missing? Anyway, yeah, so, Nick looked at me, and he was totally Japanese!?! Like, I mean, really... He had hair, and sneakers... And then Jen was all like, she was like, do you know Nick's dad is a senator?! And I was all, Right? RIGHT? And then Jen nodded, sucking on her lollipop, like until it was a little sharp thingy on a stick, like, totally gross. I wanted to tell her, that you shouldn't do that, but, I couldn't, I couldn't say it. So I ate a spoonful of peanut butter and just fucking rolled with it, man.
Date Written: December 2, 2004
Author: cuntry
Average Vote: 2.2
Comments:
12/10/2004 Dick Vomit (1): Let's get this party started!
12/10/2004 qualcomm: is "Japanese" slang for something?
12/10/2004 Will Disney: i believe 'turning japanese' means masturbating, but that's not the usage here.
12/10/2004 Mr. Pony: Now, see, why is that?
12/10/2004 TheBuyer: maybe he was just dressed all Tokyo-street couture.
12/10/2004 TREE: If hair and sneakers made Nick Japenese what do the girls look like?
12/10/2004 The Rid: Actually I found this pretty damned funny. Reminds me of this short.
12/10/2004 Streifenbeuteldachs: Apparently - and my source for this information is the short itself - being Japanese involves having hair, and sneakers. I'm a Jap myself.
12/10/2004 TheBuyer (2): in that case I completely admire your pacifist constitution and the rebuilding efforts of your military in Iraq! Domo aragato Mister Streiboto!
12/10/2004 Mr. Romance (2): This just isn't very good.
12/10/2004 The Rid: I dunno. I kinda like it.
12/10/2004 Mr. Romance: Would you mind telling me why?
12/10/2004 Mr. Pony: As far as the speaker goes, this seems like your garden variety fried-chicken-and-watermelon short, but perhaps we should look deeper. Senator Daniel Akaka (D-Hawai'i) has a son named Nicholas, but I think the Junior Senator is Chinese & Hawai'ian-American, and I don't think his wife is of Japanese ancestry. Is it a case of mistake Asianity by this peppy Nickelodeon-commercial hair-care product spokesperson? Is the author hitting us with more data than we can effectively process? Are we giving this short a fair shake?
12/10/2004 qualcomm: an even more important question might be, does it really matter if this short is referring to an actual senator? why would that make it funny, interesting or worthwhile? a teenage girl mistakes a chinaman for a japanman. who cares, and why would the author expect us to know this information?
12/10/2004 Mr. Pony (2): Well, that was the point I was trying to make.
12/10/2004 qualcomm: really? you know you do that a lot when you're serious, too (pretend a patently useless short might be worthwhile, i mean).
12/10/2004 Mr. Pony: Do I?
12/10/2004 qualcomm: don't you?
12/10/2004 Dick Vomit: You had to bring Nickelodeon into this?
12/10/2004 Mr. Pony: Didn't I?
12/10/2004 qualcomm: ahhh, don't encourage him, DV.
12/10/2004 Dick Vomit: Sorry. I meant: You had to bring Nickelodeon into this.
12/10/2004 Mr. Pony: Yeah, let him be.
12/10/2004 TheBuyer: would I?
12/10/2004 TheBuyer: as if it would have killed you to say, 'peg leg'
12/10/2004 TREE: Harelip
12/10/2004 The Rid (4): Mr. Romance, I'll tell you what it was: "So I ate a spoonful of peanut butter and just fucking rolled with it, man." That line cracked me up at a time when I needed it, when I had fewer laughs in my day. Got me? Booyah!
12/10/2004 Mr. Pony: Is the peanut butter thing a metaphor?
02/24/2005 The Rid: This short is so fucking racist.
02/24/2005 cuntry: Rid, are you serious, or are you just looking for trouble?
02/24/2005 The Rid: Sorry, cuntry. That was in response to Pony's response re: a comment I made on another short. I don't think this is racist at all.
02/24/2005 Mr. Pony: What?