The Meatpacking District is now known as “Mepa”. Please adjust your lexicon accordingly. How come they call it “taking a shit”? Think about it, you’re actually leaving a shit. Listen, I’ll gladly take a 5% commission if you’re willing to accept 5% service, but I think we both know that neither one of us really wants that. If you don’t have big breasts, put ribbons on your pigtails. That’s realtor-speak for: if you don’t shave your asshole, and then you powder your privates after the shower, you might get saddled with some talc-based dingleberry formations that are harder to get rid of than an over-priced sixth floor walk-up burdened with high maintenance on Staten Island. A friend of a friend once told the latter, “Simon, you drink a good strong cup of coffee after a meal, and smoke a cigarette, and you’ll shit like a king!”, which is really not all that different than the advice I got from my grandfather, “A cunt isn’t worth the salt!”. All the business is happening online these days. Did you know that our website gets over 30,000 hits a day? That’s a lot more bang for your buck than the New York Times classified, I’ll tell you that much! You want to live where?! That’s not exactly gracious living, is it now, Mrs. Rosenthal? Burt, Barbara, congratulations, we’ve got a signed contract!
Date Written: November 8, 2004 Author:Mr. Joshua Average Vote: 4.69231
11/15/2004Ewan Snow (5): Stream of consciousness asswipe. First rate. "I’ll gladly take a 5% commission if you’re willing to accept 5% service."
11/15/2004anonymous: On a day when Acme will likely record its 1,000,000th visitor, I'm very proud and gratified to have authored Acme's 1500th short.
11/15/2004TheBuyer (4):
11/15/2004Jon Matza (4): This has an attention deficit disorder quality to it that I, Matza, find pleasantly stimu.
11/15/2004TheBuyer: meet me in Fupa later
11/15/2004anonymous: ZaDog: My last two shorts have affected you in an almost identical manner. I fear that I copy-ass my self.
11/15/2004Mr. Pony (5): Goodness.
11/16/2004scoop (5): Ricky Roma fever dream.
11/16/2004John Slocum (5): Mr. Joshua is freaking a flow here.
01/28/2005Cyrus (5): That's right salty cunts are worthless.
08/18/2010Marvin_Bernstein (5): I concur!
08/18/2010Marvin_Bernstein: as far as turds< I think sometimes they are taken as in stolen by others if that's yur thang
08/24/2010Mr. Pony: Six years later, I had a nearly identical reaction to reading this again. I said it out loud, before I read my comment. "My goodness."