AcmeShorts

Schoolboy Memories

• Atop the principal's desk sat a placard that read: "Education is not cheap. But ignorance is more expensive." Ignorance may be more expensive than education, but certainly not more than the prescription medication I habitually purchased for three semesters to combat a stubborn gonnorheal itch I inherited from a neglected toilet seat.

• They used to call Tuesday's meal "shit on a shingle" - that is, until I actually shat on a bagel and placed it within the buffet. Now they call it "fake shit on a shingle."

• Marigold Thompson's breasts were sufficiently large for Mr. Bungalow to openly refer to them as "basketballs not the way Dr. James Naismith envisioned it." In retrospect, his assessment seems incongruous with the tight jean shorts and leather vest combo he favored on workdays.
Date Written: November 4, 2004
Author: Turgid
Average Vote: 2.7778
Comments:
11/12/2004 The Rid: I'm not sure what to rate this, but "shit on a shingle" vs. "fake shit on a shingle" was genius.
11/12/2004 Will Disney: Let's hear some more about this Marigold broad.
11/12/2004 Mr. Joshua (5): This short is so awful that I have no choice but to award it 5 stars.
11/12/2004 TheBuyer (4): We had this guy in fourth grade, "Mr. Fitness", who used to run five miles at lunch and then teach the afternoon classes in 1983 slogan tee shirts, and short shorts. He did this thing for the rest of the day where no matter what he was teaching he'd have his foot up on someone's desk and he'd stand there rubbing his leg talking about the fraying fibers of the social safety net and how none of us would get a pension, often with one nut peeking out the bottom of his shorts.
11/12/2004 Dylan Danko (3): within the buffet
11/12/2004 qualcomm (1):
11/12/2004 Mr. Pony (2): I love you Mr. Joshua.
11/12/2004 senator (4): I laughed twice. I liked the first two memories, the third I didn't get. I'm with Disney, let's hear some more about Marigold. Fuck it...I just upgraded a star. When I laugh twice it must be rewarded.
11/12/2004 anonymous: It is obvious by the reaction to this short that this site is frequented by middling intellects and/or misanthropes.
11/12/2004 anonymous: Except for those of you who awarded it with many stars.
11/12/2004 Ewan Snow (1): Yeah, that must be it, author.
11/12/2004 anonymous: Oh.
11/12/2004 Litcube (2): I can't get my cock in this one.
11/13/2004 The Rid (3):