AcmeShorts

I tell you, I just can't take it if a person's speech doesn't match their countenance. Honestly, I've met my fair share of white people speaking ebonics, but, having grown up in the linguistically vapid midwest, I can't get used to it. The incongruity of a well-bred white fellow discoursing on "bling", "hoes", and how "homey-Boo be droppin da phat beats" is something that I've come to realize annoys me greatly.

And this not even counting more exotic mixtures like Cockney negros, German-speaking Hindus, and a strapping Oriental lad I once met, who enunciated to perfection the King's English instead of that linguistic gruel that is the pidgin of the urban chinee.

The constant shock of living in this mixed-up world is wearing on me. What's an old-fashioned fellow to do? I yearn for the good old days, when boys said "Sir", negros said "Massah" and girls didn't say shit, to anyone, unless dinner was ready.
Date Written: October 23, 2004
Author: Streifenbeuteldachs
Average Vote: 4.4
Comments:
10/29/2004 The Rid (4): Word.
10/29/2004 Will Disney (4): I guess and old-fashioned fellow should vote Republican, in this case.
10/29/2004 TheBuyer (5): Word up.
10/29/2004 Mr. Pony (5): Dassa haidee ahnahrahbudu shotsu
10/29/2004 TheBuyer: Parakalo, signomi?
10/29/2004 qualcomm (4): Oy!
10/29/2004 Dylan Danko: That's a highly honorable short?? Is that what you said there, Pony?
10/29/2004 Mr. Pony: HAAAAI, DAHNKUU-SAHNG
10/29/2004 anonymous: Come on now! There's no human language with four A's in a row!
10/29/2004 Mr. Pony: That's a forced pronunciation, author. Fun fact: There's a town in Hawaii with three. AHROHA!
10/29/2004 scoop: He said human, Pony. Human.
10/29/2004 TheBuyer: here, Eskimo Pop
10/29/2004 Mr. Pony: I feel kind of dirty after listening to that Eskimo Pop.
10/29/2004 TheBuyer: Try playing them at the same time it sounds like a sea-cow orgy uh...probably. shut up.
10/29/2004 Yahzick: I done read a book, East Is East by TC Boyle. And they done had a Jap fella in that book and he done called baseball "besuboro". Man, did I laugh. Those wacky Orientals.