AcmeShorts

You'd be surprised at the resources available to inmates of modern prisons. Why, just last year, we even got our very own computer center. I tell you, it was pretty scary at first, learning a new skill, but when you're serving serious time, anything to kill the hours!

I have to admit, some of the features on these applications are pretty slick. Like in those Microsoft Office-based programs, the Undo command? Man, I wish had an Undo button in real life. Like last week, I made the mistake of choosing the monte cristo for lunch. Boy, did I ever pay for that one. Click -- Undo! Ha ha ha! (Just kidding.)

Let's see, what else could I Undo? Oh yeah, that time I got snagged for smoking in the laundry room. I lost my weight room privs for like a month.

Or what about Cut & Paste? My cellmate Ted has a real cute daughter who visits sometimes, and I'd like to Cut & Paste her cunt inside of her own uterus and eat her fucking blood and stool. Bitch.

Grammar Check would be useful for parole hearings, because those guys really pay attention to that kind of stuff. Hey, you know what'd be real sweet? Merge Cells. Ha ha ha.