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Aesop’s Modern Fables

“You see, Felton, it’s not irony itself that we should loathe. It’s the employment of irony that troubles me. Cheap irony is very problematic.”

Felton tried to assimilate the prelate’s claims.

“So, the black guy that’s a great athlete and really smart. That’s more like it.”

“Actually, Felton, that’s ironical, I daresay. It’s ironic that you gave me such a cheap version.” He then chuckled to himself.

Felton tried to ignore the caustic tone and returned to his quiche Lorraine.

48 hours after Felton had bludgeoned the prelate, the forensics expert who examined the body and discovered the word “Cul-de-sack” written in red lipstick across the victim’s chest proclaimed the aggressor a Polanski enthusiast, when in fact, Felton had merely inscribed, in a calculated effort, one of the prelate’s favorite foreign terms with absolutely no knowledge of Polanski’s oeuvre.

8 years later, the resident Francophile, Patrice (nee Patrick), who was falsely accused of the murder and subsequently sentenced to life in prison, gained his release by finally being given the opportunity to demonstrate his ability to correctly spell the crucial piece of evidence that resulted in his incarceration.

A newspaper article heralding the justice that was finally exacted read as follows: “Ironically, Local French Sympathizer Freed by Virtue of Own French-Speaking Skills.”

The Moral of the Story:
Everybody’s Too Smart for Their Own Good.