AcmeShorts

Today, I wake up, and my roommate leaves, because his mom and dad are in town from Canada. He told me that he and his family were going to brunch in the neighborhood. I got all psyched, because I finally had an opportunity to watch my new porn video, and beat off with absolute impunity. Well, he leaves, and I pop in this Rocco Siffredi All Anal Gangbang video. I chilled for the first scene, and let myself get strong wood, then this part came on, where Rocco and this other Euro-Fag start double-analling this chick, who is like yelling in Russian. I couldn't take it folks, I dropped my drawers around my ankles, and started to wax my fuckin pecker raw with some baby oil. Well, I get really close to cumming, when I hear a key in the door. I got up as fast as I could, to get to the VCR, but I tripped over my pants and boxers, which were still around my ankles. I fell forward onto the corner of my coffee table and tore a huge gash in my forehead. I was bleeding, and not fully conscious. My roommate and his parents came through the door, I'm bleeding with my pecker out on the floor, on the TV is some fat-tittied Russian chick getting Double-Analled by a couple of fags, and there is baby oil and semen all over my t-shirt. My roomie's mother gasped, and his dad said "take him to the hospital". As it turns out, my roomie's folks thought that I had a breakdown of some sort, so they told the doctor and the hospital that I was in the throes of "psychosis". They called my parents and everything. Now my Mom says that if I come over today, she'll call the cops. The doctor also made me take some medications for "anxiety" but now I just feel fucked up. I'm sorry to lay this shit on you guys, I am just having a bad day.