"Kobe's free, Kobe's free," the 30-something black man wearing an authentic Allen Iversen jersey proclaimed to all within earshot in the bodega.
When the non-descript white man made the mistake of looking at him, the black man felt the gauntlet had been thrown down.
"What, you think jest cause he black, she white, he must be guilty. That it?"
"Whatever."
"Black man must be guilty, huh?"
"If you say so."
"Sheeeit, you just prejudice."
"Yeah, but what does that have to do with, ah, Dobe?"
"It's Kobe, not Dobe. Kobe! Sheeeit. Mutha fucker don't even know Kobe," he said ha-ha-haing.
Then the black man turned to another non-descript white man who entered the bodega and started in, "Kobe's free. Did ya, hear? Kobe's free."
Date Written: September 2, 2004 Author:Pods Average Vote: 3.25
Comments:
09/7/2004Will Disney (4):
09/7/2004Mr. Pony (4): Whoa! Sketch comedy!
09/7/2004qualcomm (2):
09/7/2004TheBuyer: Quick, what was Bob Denver's character on Dobie Gillis?
09/7/2004Ferucio P. Chhretan: Come on, you know that, TheBuyer...
09/7/2004Dylan Danko (3): I like how the black guy talks all black and shit but pronounces 'prejudice' perfectly. I was going to two this but don't want to be seen as siding with the criminally insane.
09/7/2004qualcomm: that's the difference between you and me. i vote my conscience, while your votes are dictated by how you "want to be seen". for example, that one star vote i gave you last week? a directive from the most righteous, unassailable part of my conscience.
09/7/2004Dylan Danko: Thanks for providing me with todays most side splitting yuks. Unassailable and righteous are normally used to describe my cock. You did a twist on it. Brilliant.
09/7/2004Ol‘ Summer Sausage: for example, i really liked the way this short was written, and thought the ideas in it were splendid, but my conscience feels that it's wrong to be so stereotypical to black people like this. i feel the writer is a racist, and that's something i cannot abide. i am good friends with some very smart and very real black people and i assure you: none of them talks like this. this is an example of my superior conscious in action. when will the rest of you get with the program? assholes.
09/7/2004TheBuyer (2): so...not Kobe? Wait, is this topical or something? We don't get "news" up here.
09/7/2004Litcube (4): News news news news news news news news say it fast a bunch a times news news news news news news news news news news!!! it sounds funny!!!
09/7/2004John Slocum (3): How 'bout that floor tom work yesterday.
09/7/2004Ol‘ Summer Sausage: didn't anyone hear what i said? i said i hate racists and stereotypers. anyone who says different will answer to me.
09/7/2004TheBuyer: we heard you, go sleep it off, you dumb mick
09/7/2004Ol‘ Summer Sausage: How dare you! Disney, I demand that theBuyer be sanctioned for his racism! immediately! I'm not kidding! racism really rankles my chancre
09/7/2004TheBuyer: sorry, I shouldn't have called you "mick", I meant "Potato eating baby machine"
09/7/2004TheBuyer: okay, okay, I'll knock it off. The Irish are a lovely, repressed people who shouldn't be picked on like in Gangs of New Yourk. Shleigh!
09/7/2004Ol‘ Summer Sausage: okay, that does it, the next person who makes a racist comment OF ANY KIND on this site will get a retaliatory one-star vote from me on their next three shorts
09/7/2004TheBuyer: Does that include objective truths? For example, "Many people in the Philipines have Spanish sounding last names." or "There are a lot of Australians in Whistler."
09/7/2004Litcube: Richmond is full of chinks in one's armour.
09/7/2004Ol‘ Summer Sausage: the one about the philippines is racist, the one about whistler is not. since those are hypothetical, i choose not to penalize you. Litcube, don't push me. if you think I'm not serious, you'd better think twice
09/8/2004Litcube: There are alot of Japanese in Whistler.. Did that suddenly become racist?
09/8/2004TheBuyer: Wait a sec, the Philipines was [were?] under Spanish occupation for years which is why a lot of their surnames are Spanish and not Tagalog; It's a fact not a slur. I thought the Whistler thing would be worse because of the 'Blowjob Effect'.
09/8/2004The Finch: I don't believe you are talking to the real Ol' Summer Sausage.
signed, The Finch
09/8/2004TheBuyer: fucking hell I've been debating with a finger puppet.
signed,
The Finch