AcmeShorts

I had sacrificed and eaten Reggie, my girlfriend's 2 year old. I had sautéed him in olive oil and rosemary, rare, and had eaten the loose bloody meat with saliva, oil, blood and liquefied fat dripping down my chin. I was right: prepared this way, Reggie was a great pair for the 85 Clos du Mont Olivet Chateauneuf du Pape. [In retrospect I realized there were no real surprises there; the wine was quite herbal, actually smelled like raw, bloody meat - which I definitely knew ahead of time - and it certainly had enough alcohol and body to stand up to Reggie. It was more like a confirmation than a new discovery. I made a mental note to be more daring in my pairing.] When Edwina saw Reggie's half eaten carcass she went berserk, as I guess any mother would. She went right for my neck. I was a little mad because she had interrupted my ruminations so I pushed her to the ground and ripped her arms clear off, right out of their sockets. She screamed, cried, gurgled and must have passed out because she was lying quite still with her mouth open. I used one of her bloody arms to beat her about the face and neck and then went to bed. Good night.